Ohh calm down. I know what you are thinking, pervert! There are 2 ways to screw up during sex, by saying stupid things or by.. I have no idea. Enjoy.

++ My old girlfriend used to do it a LOT longer!

++I want a baby!

++My cat always sleeps on that pillow

++Have you ever considered liposuction?

++I have a confession...

++Did I mention my transsexual operation?

++I'll tell you who I'm fanatasizing about if you tell me who you're fantasizing about...

++Oprah Winfrey had a show about men like you!

++(in the Motel) Hurry up! This room rents by the Hour!

++Did I tell you my Aunt Jane died in this bed?

++Is that you I smell or is it your mattress stuffed with rotten potatoes?

++This would be more fun with a few more people...

++Everybody looks funny naked!

++Did I mention the video camera?

++You could at least ACT like you're enjoying it!

++Long kisses clog my sinuses...