Become Annoying Online

If you are tired of beong bored online and playing games, you can definitely try one new trick and have a lot of fun.The little devil inside me likes when I irritate my friends on purpose. Let's be annoy them online. Here is how.

1. Make up fake acronyms. Online veterans like to use abbreviations like IMHO (in my humble opinion) or RTFM (read the fucking manual) to show that they're "hep" to the lingo. Make up your own that don't stand for anything (SETO, BARL, CP30), use them liberally, and then refuse to explain what they stand for ("You don't know that? RTFM").

2. WRITE YOUR MESSAGES IN ALL CAPS AND DON'T USE RETURNS SO THAT EVERYONE HAS TO SCROLL ACROSS THEIR SCREENS TO READ EVERY LINE. ALSO USE A LOT OF !!!!! TO SHOW THAT YOU'RE EXCITED ABOUT BEING HERE!

3. When replying to your mail, correct everyone's grammar and spelling and point out their typos, but don't otherwise respond to the content of their messages. when they respond testily to your "creative criticism," do it again. Continue until they go away.

4. Software and files offered online are often "compressed" so that they won't take so long to travel over the phone lines. Buy a compression program and compress everything you send, including one-word e-mail responses like "Thanks."

5. Upload text files with Bible passages about sin or guilt and give them names like "SexyHousewivesI," then see how many people download it. Challenge your friends to come up with the most popular come-ons.

6. cc: all your e-mail to Joe Biden (vice.president@whitehouse.gov) so that he can keep track of what's happening on the Internet.

7. Join a discussion group and tie whatever's being discussed back to an unrelated central theme.

Become Annoying

Everyday, I wear a new costume and become someone else. Today I want to annoy all my friends because I love them and I pay attention to them. Have fun trying these.

1. Argue with everybody.
2. Underline in other peoples books.
3. Slurp your soup.
4. If you can't think of something nice, say something nasty.
5. Be judgmental.
6. Announce when your going to the bathroom.
7. Read over peoples shoulders on the bus.
8. When it says "Reserved Parking" that means you.
9. Cover up your mistakes and pass the blame.
10. Pinch all the chocolate candies until you find the one that you want.
11. If you do something nice, make sure everyone knows about it.
12. Threaten law suits.
13. Tell people that they are in your will, even if they aren't.
14. When giving out directions, leave out a turn or two.
15. Don't make up your mind.
16. Improve your posture by walking with your nose in the air.
17. Remind people who lose their job that they should work harder.
18. Talk with your mouth full.
19. Comment on the weight gain of others.
20. Put a rude message on someone elses answering machine.
21. Leave your underwear in the sink.
22. Chew other peoples pencils.
23. Support the death penalty for parking tickets.
24. Be a perfectionist in absolutely everything.
25. Apologize a lot, but don't change.
26. Change the rules to suit your needs.
27. Let doors slam behind you ? in people's faces.
28. Repeat yourself/ Repeat yourself/ Repeat yourself.
29. Answer a question with a question.
30. Clean your finger nails at the dinner table.
31. Notice good ideas and pass them on as your own.
32. Put a title like Senator or Doctor before your name when making dinner or hotel reservations.
33. Don't volunteer for the back seat and never take the middle one.
34. Before exiting the elevator, push all the buttons.
35. Never do anything until you have been asked twice.
36. Go up on the down escalator and vice versa.
37. Dont shower after a hard workout.
38. Change channels every two seconds

Screw up during Sex

Ohh calm down. I know what you are thinking, pervert! There are 2 ways to screw up during sex, by saying stupid things or by.. I have no idea. Enjoy.

++ My old girlfriend used to do it a LOT longer!

++I want a baby!

++My cat always sleeps on that pillow

++Have you ever considered liposuction?

++I have a confession...

++Did I mention my transsexual operation?

++I'll tell you who I'm fanatasizing about if you tell me who you're fantasizing about...

++Oprah Winfrey had a show about men like you!

++(in the Motel) Hurry up! This room rents by the Hour!

++Did I tell you my Aunt Jane died in this bed?

++Is that you I smell or is it your mattress stuffed with rotten potatoes?

++This would be more fun with a few more people...

++Everybody looks funny naked!

++Did I mention the video camera?

++You could at least ACT like you're enjoying it!

++Long kisses clog my sinuses...

Write your college paper

College was, is and will be the laziest yet busiest periode of our lifes. I have plenty of funny, odd, stupid and crazy stories during college. But one thing we all can relate during college is definitely the way we were doing our homeworks.

1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well lit place in front of your computer.

2. Log onto MSN and ICQ (be sure to go on away!). Check your email.

3. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it.

4. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some chocolate to help you concentrate.

5. Check your email and Facebook.

6. Call up a friend and ask if he/she wants to go to grab a coffee. Just to get settled down and ready to work.

7. When you get back to your room, sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lit place.

8. Read over the assignment again to make absolutely certain you understand it.

9. Check your email.

10. You know, you haven't written to that kid you met at camp since fourth grade. You'd better write that letter now and get it out of the way so you can concentrate.

11. Look at your teeth in the bathroom mirror.

12. Grab some mp3z with your illegal download software.

13. Check your email and Facebook.

14. MSN chat with one of your friends about the future. (ie summer plans).

15. Check your email and Facebook.

16. Listen to your new mp3z and download some more.

17. Phone your friend on the other floor and ask if she's started writing yet. Exchange derogatory emarks about your prof, the
course, the college, the world at large.

18. Walk to the store and buy a pack of gum. You've probably run out.

19. While you've got the gum you may as well buy a magazine and read it.

20. Check your email.

21. Check the newspaper listings to make sure you aren't missing something truly worthwhile on TV.

22. Play some solitare (or age of legends!).

23. Check out bored.com.

24. Wash your hands.

25. Call up a friend to see how much they have done, probably haven't started either.

26. Look through your housemate's book of pictures from home. Ask who everyone is.

27. Sit down and do some serious thinking about your plans for the future.

28. Check to see if unboredme.blogspot.com has been updated yet.

29. Check your email and listen to your new mp3z.

30. You should be rebooting by now, assuming that windows is crashing on schedule.

31. Read over the assignment one more time, just for heck of it.

32. Scoot your chair across the room to the window and watch the sunrise.

33. Lie face down on the floor and moan.

34. Punch the wall and break something.

35. Check your email.

36. Mumble obscenities.

37. 5am - start hacking on the paper without stopping. 6am -paper is finished.

38. Complain to everyone that you didn't get any sleep because you had to write that stupid paper.

39. Go to class, hand in paper, and leave right away so you can take a nap

Order Pizza

Who hasn't already order a pizza? It's one of the most popular food in the world. Here are the coolest ways to order your pizza. Pick up your phone and get ready for the FUN!

• Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.
• Ask for the guy who took your order last time.
• Ask if the pizza is organically grown.
• Ask them if you get a free date with one of the staff if you make an order over $30.
• Ask if they're familiar with the term "spanking a pizza." Make up a description to go with the term. Ask that this be done to your pizza.
• Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.
• Tell them to put the crust on top this time.
• Ask what the order taker is wearing.
• If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.
• Imitate the order taker's voice.
• Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."
• Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.
• Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.
• Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

Become a Douchebag

Douchebags!!! Is it just a trend or a permanent behaviour? Whatever it is (I've found around 200 definitions online)Douchebags are insanely funny/stupid. But it can be fun to become one of them for few hours just to scare your entourage or just to become a better douchebag.



The look

--Take a membership at your favorite tanning salon
--Get ridiculous tattoos
--Put an entire pot of gel on your hair
--Wear a very bright t-shirt... everyday. (You have extra points if you wear the same t-shirt everyday)
--Wear bling bling
--Drive very big cars

The attitude

--Party hard, drink like crazy, create your own ridiculous dance moves and don't be afraid to show them at every occasions
--show your fancy mobile phone at every opportunity (and even when there is none...)
--Be obnoxious, listen to loud music, turn the volume to max, yell on public transit, fight in public and destroy your neighbors garden
--Remember: Women are inferior to you. Women are here for the entertainment and pleasure of men


Your motto: See that trashcan over there? Throw it! Why? Who cares?! It’s funny, and will impress the ladies!

Make your bf breaks up with you

Ladies, if your Romeo looks more like a cameo in your life and you too don't have the "balls" to do the nasty break up, here are few tricks for you.


10- Ask for more commitment like being engaged, talk about kids

09- End your sentences by "Because I worth it" and don't forget to smile and to turn your head (watch a Loreal ad)

08- No sex only foreplays, flowers and chocolate

07- Be obssessed with the Jonas Brothers (regardless your age)

06- Take him to your weekly 4 hours shoes-shopping. Ask him to return the shoes the very next day.

05- Don't shave

04- Fake a pregnancy. If he wants to stay and keep the child then fake an abortion

03- Complain, complain, complain again.. and more whining

02- Stalk him, call every hour and text as much as your fingers can. Leave stupid and non-sense messages

01- Tell him you have a crush on his Dad

This time you won't have to move to another continent because these tips will work 100% guaranteed.

Make your gf breaks up with you

Have you ever been in a relationship that you want to end but don't have the balls to break it? Use these mean tips and I assure you your girlfriend will to do the nasty break-up.

10- Don't pick up when she calls, don't text her either
09- Spend all your free time with your friends
08- Don't be nice to her friends
07- No more compliments
06- Wear the colors she hates
05- Don't take her out but ask for sex
04- Make her feel guilty about your relationship
03- Be obssessed with a female celebrity (ex. Scarlett Johansson, Natalie Portman, Megan Fox, etc..)
02- Ask her if she is pregant because you noticed she gained 5lbs ( 2.5 kg)
01- Tell her that you are bisexual.

PS: If all these things don't work, well, move to a different continent because your gf is INSANE!
Next week, I'll post a "How to make your boyfriend break-up with you".